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Quotes by W. C. Fields

US actor (1880 - 1946)

I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother.

Never give a sucker an even break.

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.

CP I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

CP Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.

CP Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

CP Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

CP I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake--which I also keep handy.