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Quotes by Unknown

Quotations by unknown authors

The wages of sin are unreported.

It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.

Fashion is something that goes in one year and out the other.

Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity.

If it is to be, it is up to me.

Money can't buy happiness; it can, however, rent it.

The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.

There's a pinch of the madman in every great man.

Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.

Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

One thing the inventors can't seem to get the bugs out of is fresh paint.

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening all at once.

Education is what you get from reading the fine print. Experience is what you get from not reading it.

Some people make things happen, some watch while things happen, and some wonder 'What happened?'

Fishing gives you a sense of where you fit in the sceme of things - Your place in the universe...I, mean, here I am, one small guy with a fishing pole on this vast beach and out there in the blue expanse of ocean are these hundreds of millions of fish...laughing at me.

A slipping gear in your M203 grenade launcher can cause it to fire when you least expect it. This could make you very unpopular with what is left of your unit.

"Mac, you ever been in love?" "Marshal, I've been a bartender all my life."

If you don't find it in the index, look very carefully through the entire catalogue.

We have staked the whole future of American civilization, not upon the power of government, far from it. We have staked the future of all of our political institutions upon the capacity of mankind of self-government; upon the capacity of each and all of us to govern ourselves, to control ourselves, to sustain ourselves according to the Ten Commandments of God.

CP A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn't.

There are days when solitude, for someone my age, is a heady wine that intoxicates you with freedom, others when it is a bitter tonic, and still others when it is a poison that makes you beat your head against the wall.

CP J.F.K.--The Man and the Airport

CP A stitch in time would have confused Einstein.

A wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can from a mountain top .

Accident, n.: A condition in which presence of mind is good, but absence of body is better.

DISCLAIMER: A society where such disclaimers are needed is saddening.

Whoever does not love his work cannot hope that it will please others.

If you laid all of the lawyers in the world, end to end, on the equator ---- It would be a good idea to just leave them there.

Economists are people who work with numbers but who don't have the personality to be accountants.

Mahatma Gandi was what wives wish their husbands were: thin, tan and moral.

Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.

Psychiatry is the care of the id by the odd.

Every big problem was at one time a wee disturbance.

If voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal.

Most people rust out due to lack of challenge. Few people rust out due to overuse.

Never argue with a fool. Listeners can't tell which is which.

This life is a test. It is only a test. Had this been an actual life, you would have received further instructions as to what to do and where to go.

On Thanksgiving Day all over America, families sit down to dinner at the same moment - halftime.

After all is said and done, a lot more will be said than done.

Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.

A novel is a piece of prose of a certain length with something wrong with it.

In every fat book there is a thin book trying to get out.

The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.

Socrates seems to be the philosophical napkin with which the ensuing cultural thinkers of history wipe their mouths of pedantic ooze.

Any new venture goes through the following stages: enthusiasm, complication, disillusionment, search for the guilty, punishment of the innocent, and decoration of those who did nothing.

Adolescence is the stage between infancy and adultery.

How to win a case in court: If the law is on your side, pound on the law; if the facts are on your side, pound on the facts; if neither is on your side, pound on the table.

All general statements are false.

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

Teach children to be polite and courteous in the home, and, when he grows up, he will never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.

Lie: A very poor substitute for the truth, but the only one discovered to date.

It is twice as hard to crush a half-truth as a whole lie.

Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty.

All power corrupts, but we need the electricity.

All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.

Never make anything simple and efficient when a way can be found to make it complex and wonderful.

An Irishman is the only man in the world who will step over the bodies of a dozen naked women to get to a bottle of stout.

I see in the near future a crisis approaching that unnerves me and causes me to tremble for the safety of my country. . . . Corporations have been enthroned, an era of corruption in high places will follow, and the money-power of the country will endeavor to prolong its reign by working upon the prejudices of the people until the wealth is aggregated in a few hands and the Republic is destroyed.

Take only pictures, steal only time, leave only footprints.

Women remember the first kiss, men remember the last.

An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.

A chinese philosopher once had a dream that he was a butterfly. From that day on, he was never quite certain that he was not a butterfly, dreaming that he was a man.

Anarchy - it's not the law, it's just a good idea.

If debugging is the art of removing bugs, then programming must be the art of inserting them.

Antonym, n.: The opposite of the word you're trying to think of.

Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses.

Anyone who uses the phrase 'easy as taking candy from a baby' has never tried taking candy from a baby.

I always knew i would look back on my tears and laugh but i never tought i would look back on the laughter and cry

Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

CP My Karma ran over your dogma.

Barnum was wrong - it's more like every 30 seconds.

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.

Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight, very clean. When it arrives it is perfect. It puts itself in our hands. It hopes we learned something from yesterday.

Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.

After all is said and done, a lot more will have been said than done.

It's easy to get lost in thought if it's not familiar territory to you.

What I said never changed anyone. What they understood did.

Don't worry if you're a kleptomaniac, you can always take something for it.

Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

Fools rush in where fools have been before.

Since wars begin in the minds of men, it is in the minds of men that the defence of peace must be constructed.

Never lose hope.

He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next exit.

He's the kind of a guy who lights up a room just by flicking a switch.

He is not deemed to give consent who is under a mistake.

An act against my will is not my act.

Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he doesn't exist.

For the uncontrolled there is no wisdom. For the uncontrolled there is no concentration, and for him without concentration, there is no peace. And for the unpeaceful how can there ever be happiness?

I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere.

Everything you do or say is public relations.

A healthy family is sacred territory.

Between the wish and the thing life lies waiting.

To be upset over what you don't have is to waste what you do have.

The worst prison would be a closed heart.

Dedication is not what others expect of you, it is what you can give to others.

Blessed is the person who is too busy to worry in the daytime and too sleepy to worry at night.

Confidence in nonsense is a requirement for the creative process.

Usability is like oxygen -- you never notice it until it is missing...

"Reality" is the only word in the English language that should always be used in quotes.

Don't let people drive you crazy when you know it's in walking distance.

Never give advice... A wise man won't need it A fool won't heed it.

The greatest oak was once a little nut who held its ground....

I haven't a clue as to how my story will end. But that's all right. When you set out on a journey and night covers the road, you don't conclude that the road has vanished. And how else could we discover the stars?

Practice Random Acts of Kindness and Senseless Beauty.

God put me on Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I'm so far behind I will never die!

Don't be afraid to take one large step because you can't cross a chasm in two small leaps.

Failure to prepare is preparing to fail.

If everybody's thinking alike, somebody isn't thinking.

Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in.

Love is not blind, it sees more not less; But because it sees more it chooses to see less.

True friendship is seen through the heart not through the eyes.

Life's truest happiness is found in friendships we make along the way.

In the sixties, the world was normal and people took acid to make it weird. Nowadays the world is weird and people take prozac to make it normal.

If you fear change, leave it here.

Once you've accumulated sufficient knowledge to get by, you're too old to remember it.

Never deprive someone of hope -- it may be all they have.

A life spent making mistakes is not only most honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.

If we deny love that is given to us, if we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss, then our lives will be empty, our loss greater.

In a few minutes a computer can make a mistake so great that it would have taken many men many months to equal it.

We do not hate those we fight; we do not love those we defend.

If a pessimist is always right, is he a realist?

There are people who make things happen, those who watch what happens, and those who wonder what happened.

Every oak tree started out as a couple of nuts who decided to stand their ground.

Vacation used to be a luxury, however, in today's world, it has become a necessity.

The human brain is like a railroad freight car -- guaranteed to have a certain capacity but often running empty.

Cycology -- The science of propelling one's self through the environment to enhance well-being.

To err is human, to blame the next guy even more so.

A library is an arsenal of liberty.

A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something.

Courage atrophies from lack of use.

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.

Blessed are we who can laugh at ourselves for we shall never cease to be amused.

If you don't believe in something, you'll fall for anything.

Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterward.

I'm not worried about the bullet with my name on it... just the thousands out there marked 'Occupant.'

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic.

Just once, I wish we would encounter an alien menace that wasn't immune to bullets.

Outside show is a poor substitute for inner worth.

Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason.

I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience. I know no way of judging the future but by the past.

CP A friend is one to whom you can pour out the contents of your heart, chaff and grain alike. Knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping and with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away.

If you begin the day with love in your heart, peace in your nerves, and truth in your mind, you not only benefit by their presence but also bring them to others, to your family and friends, and to all those whose destiny draws across your path that day.

Ideals are like stars. You will not succeed in touching them with your hands. But, like the seafaring man on the desert of waters, you choose them as your guides and following them you will reach your destiny.

It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are.

A diplomat is a man who says you have an open mind, instead of telling you that you have a hole in the head.

Life is like a piano... what you get out of it depends on how you play it.

Use the talents you possess -- for the woods would be a very silent place if no birds sang except for the best.

What man does not understand, he fears; and what he fears, he tends to destroy.

Those who stare at the past have their backs turned to the future.

The one whose judgment counts most in your life is the one staring back in the glass.

What most people need to learn in life is how to love people and use things instead of using people and loving things.

Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.

Life has no rehearsals, only performances.

Life is like a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up.

Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell.

The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money.

Many an opportunity is lost because a man is out looking for four-leaf clovers.

The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.

Discretion is being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice.

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt.

The whole world steps aside for the man who knows where he is going.

Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold -- but so does a hard-boiled egg.

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.

To live for some future goal is shallow. It's the sides of the mountain that sustain life, not the top.

Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it's what you are expected to give -- which is everything

If you fear nothing, you love nothing. If you love nothing, what joy can there be in life?

He who thinks by the inch and talks by the yard deserves to be kicked by the foot.

Perhaps one day this too will be pleasant to remember.

The atom, being for all practical purposes the stable unit of the physical plane, is a constantly changing vortex of reactions.

Smile -- It's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

It isn't the mountains ahead that wear you out, it's the grain of sand in your shoe.

Sometimes the most urgent and vital thing you can do is take a complete rest.

You know you're getting old when it takes too much effort to procrastinate.

Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang the best.

There is only one success- to be able to spend your life in your own way.

That which we obtain too easily, we esteem too lightly.

Success always occurs in private and failure in full public view.

It's easy to stop making mistakes. Just stop having ideas.

Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered -- either by themselves or by others.

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we should dance.

A ship is safe in harbor, but that's not what ships are for.

Feelings are real and legitimate; children behave and misbehave for a reason, even if adults cannot figure it out.

The essence of intelligence is skill in extracting meaning from everyday experience.

The words you speak today should be soft and tender. . . for tomorrow you may have to eat them.

Life's real failure is when you do not realize how close you were to success when you gave up.

Love is my Sword, Goodness my Armor, And Humor my Shield.

We are drowning in information and starved for knowledge.

If you make the world a little better, then you have accomplished a great deal.

It is difficult for sorrow to intrude on a busy life.

Immortality lies not in the things you leave behind, but in the people your life has touched.

Man is a gregarious creature, more so in mind than in body. He may like to go alone for a walk but he hates to stand alone in his opinion.

Programming today is a race between software engineers stirring to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning.

The engineer's first problem in any design situation is to discover what the problem really is.

A wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can from a mountain top.

Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain.

If you listened hard enough the first time, you might have heard what I meant to say.

The really happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery when on a detour.

Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy.

Beware of the half truth. You may have gotten hold of the wrong half.

The only real failure in life is the failure to try.

He who ceases to learn cannot adequately teach.

Words lead to deeds.... They prepare the soul, make it ready, and move it to tenderness.

Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That's why it's a comfort to go hand-in-hand.

The heart is wiser than the intellect.

A fellow can't keep people from having a bad opinion of him, but he can keep them from being right about it.

Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement.

CP A friend is someone who will help you move. A real friend is someone who will help you move a body.

CP What if this weren't a hypothetical question?

It is with a word as with an arrow - once let it loose and it does not return.