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Quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

US actor & comedian (1921 - 2004)

View t-shirts and apparel containing Rodney Dangerfield quotes.

Last time I tried to make love to my wife nothing happened, so I said to her, 'What's the matter, you can't think of anybody either?'

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.

A girl phoned me the other day and said "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

When I was born the doctor took one look at my face .... turned me over and said. Look ... twins!

CP Life is just a bowl of pits.