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Quotes by Lily Tomlin

US actress & comedienne (1939 - )

Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

What's reality anyway? Nothing but a collective hunch.

Thank God kids never mean well

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?

No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up.

I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.

I may be schizophrenic, but I'll always have each other.

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.

When I am happy I feel like crying, but when I am sad I don't feel like laughing. I think it is better to be happy; then you get two feelings for the price of one.

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.

Why is it when we talk to God we're praying -- but when God talks to us, we're schizophrenic?

We're all in this alone.

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.

CP Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then--we elected them.