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Quotes by Dorothy Parker

US author, humorist, poet, & wit (1893 - 1967)

View t-shirts and apparel containing Dorothy Parker quotes.

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.

His voice was a intimate as the rustle of sheets.

Every year, back come Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.

CP I'm never going to be famous. I don't do anything, not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.

This is on me.

Dear Mary: We all knew you had it in you.

CP This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant --- and let the air out of their tires.

The two most beautiful words in the English language are ``check enclosed.''

By whom?

One more drink and I'll be under the host.

CP I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do any thing. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, A medley of extemporanea; And love is a thing that can never go wrong; And I am Marie of Romania.

"Coolidge is dead" "How could they tell?

If they laid all the coeds from Yale end to end...I wouldn't be surprised.

I really can't come to your party Mrs. Parker, I can't bear fools." That's strange; your mother could.

Trapped, like a trap in a trap.

Famous actress bragging about her husband: Look at him, isn't he beautiful I have kept him for seven years now" Dorothy Parker: Don't Worry--he'll come back in style"

Four be the things I'd have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt.

That woman speaks eighteen languages and can't say "No" in any of them.

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

They sicken of the calm, who knew the storm.

I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound - if I can remember any of the damn things.

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant - and let the air out of the tires.

The only "ism" Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

If all these sweet young things were laid end to end, I wouldn't be the slightest bit suprised.

The affair between Margot Asquith and Margot Asquith will live as one of the prettiest love stories in all literature.

CP I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.

My land is bare of chattering folk; the clouds are low along the ridges, and sweet's the air with curly smoke from all my burning bridges.

Ducking for apples - change one letter and it's the story of my life.

Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.

I went to a convent in New York and was fired finally for my insistence that the Immaculate Conception was spontaneous combustion.

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, A medley of extemporanea; And love is thing that can never go wrong; And I am Marie of Romania.

Scratch an actor - and you'll find an actress.

I require three things in a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant--and let the air out of the tires.

If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.

You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.

Men seldom make passes At girls who wear glasses.

You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think.

i like to have a martini, two at the very most - at three i'm under the table, at four, i'm under the host!

A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.

The only "ism" hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

CP If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

Los Angeles: Seventy-two suburbs in search of a city.

I've never been a millionaire but I just know I'd be darling at it.

If wild my breast and sore my pride, I bask in dreams of suicide, If cool my heart and high my head I think "How lucky are the dead.

Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.