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Quotes by Anonymous

Liberals are very broadminded: they are always willing to give careful consideration to both sides of the same side.

People will forget what you did, people will forget what you said, but they won't forget the way you made them feel.

A little nonsense now and then, is relished by the wisest men.

Usenet isn't a right. It's a right, a left, and a swift uppercut to the jaw.

Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better.

Happiness is seeing your mother-in-law's picture on the back of a milk carton.

Religion is for those who don't want to go to Hell. Spirituality is for those of us who have already been through it.

Aviation in itself is not inherently dangerous. But to an even greater degree than the sea, it is terribly unforgiving of carelessness, incapacity, or neglect.

There was a young man of Dundoo, Whose limericks stopped at line 2.

There was a young woman named Jenny, Whose limericks weren't worth a penny. Her rhythm and rhyme Were perfectly fine But whenever she tried to write any, She always had one line too many.

There once was a young man from Lyme Who couldn't get his limericks to rhyme When asked "Why not?" It was said that he thought They were probably too long and badly structured and not at all very funny.

Great minds think alike, and fools seldom differ.

Two sodium atoms are walking along the street when one stops and says, "Oh my God, I think I've lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" asks the other sodium atom. "Yes," replies the first sodium atom, "I'm positive."

Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules. Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.

Bite off more than you can chew, then chew it. Plan more than you can do, then do it.

A magician pulls rabbits out of hats. An experimental psychologist pulls habits out of rats.

Some people get angry because God put thorns on roses, while others praise him for putting roses among thorns.

Always imitate the behavior of the winners when you lose.

Diversity is the one true thing we all have in common. Celebrate it every day.

The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.

If a tree falls in the woods, and there's no one there to hear it, how will the Environmentalists react?

Alas my love you do me wrong, To cast me of discurteously; And I have loved you so long, Delighting in your company.

Tis the advisor who suffers from bad advice.

Whatever you undertake, act with prudence, and consider the consequences.

No man deserves punishment for his thoughts.

To him that you tell your secret you resign your liberty.

If for a tranquil mind you seek, These things observe with care: Of whom you speak, to whom you speak, And how, and when and where.

A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice.

If you really do put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price.

Better to get up late and be wide awake than to get up early and be asleep all day.

Dare to be wise. (Sapere Aude)

Unity in things necessary, liberty in things doubtful, charity in everything.

To harken to evil conversation is the road to wickedness.. (Pravis Assuescere Sermonibus Est Via Ad Rem Ipsam)

May no portent of evil be attached to the words I say.

By courage I repel adversity. (Adversa Virtute Repello)

There are no thanks for a kindness, which has been delayed.

You add insult to injury. (Injuriae Addis Contumeliam)

It is light grief that can take counsel.

Don't let yourself forget what it's like to be sixteen.

A Native American grandfather was talking to his grandson about how he felt. He said, "I feel as if I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is the vengeful, angry, violent one. The other wolf is the loving, compassionate one. The grandson asked him, Which wolf will win the fight in your heart? The grandfather answered, The one I feed.

Any piece of clothing can be sexy with a quietly passionate woman inside it.

If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

Liberty is the right to choose. Freedom is the result of the right choice.

The more you know, the less you need to show.

Practice random beauty and senseless acts of love.

The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.

If everything is coming your way then you're in the wrong lane.

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits

If you chase two rabbits, both will escape.

Never argue with a fool. Someone watching may not be able to tell the difference.

OK, so you've got a Ph.D. Now, don't touch anything.

The best way to succeed in life is to act on the advice we give to others.

I'm out of the loop, and that's the way I like it.

A closed mind is a good thing to lose.

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

A friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

A good exercise for the heart is to bend down and help another up.

A groundless rumor often covers a lot of ground.

A guilty conscience needs no accuser.

A man has no more character than he can command in a time of crisis.

A man is known by the company he avoids.

Art is a deliberate recreation of a new and special reality that grows from your response to life. It cannot be copied; it must be created.

Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of.

Be alert to give service. What counts a great deal in life is what we do for others.

Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, but the realization of how much you already have.

Discretion is the better part of valor.

It usually takes a long time to find a shorter way.

Truth fears no questions.

CP If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.

The future belongs to those who dare.

God helps those who help themselves.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

If it weren't for caffeine I'd have no personality whatsoever!

Only Robinson Crusoe had everything done by Friday.

My wife says I never listen to her. At least I think that's what she said.

Change is good, but dollars are better.

I have decided that suicide is completely out of the question. I refuse to end the suffering of others... No, I must contemplate homicide and end the suffering of one... ME!!!

When you point your finger at someone, three fingers are pointing back at you.

Stupid is a boundless concept.

Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant.

A single fact can spoil a good argument.

By all means, let's not confuse ourselves with the facts!

The fewer clear facts you have in support of an opinion, the stronger your emotional attachment to that opinion.

If you enjoy the fruit, pluck not the flower.

If you hear that everybody is buying a certain stock, ask who is selling.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Victory is a political fiction.

To be free it is not enough to beat the system, one must beat the system every day.

Don't refuse to go on an occasional wild goose chase -- that's what wild geese are for.

It is wise to keep in mind that no success or failure is necessarily final.

Civilization is a slow process of adopting the ideas of minorities.

A dreamer lives for eternity.

Do not follow where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail.

Someday is not a day of the week.

There are no traffic jams when you go the extra mile.

Temper gets you into trouble. Pride keeps you there.

The smallest good deed is better than the grandest intention.

When money talks, nobody notices what grammar it uses.

CP The best defense against the atom bomb is not to be there when it goes off.

CP God is not dead but alive and well and working on a much less ambitious project.

CP A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.

CP I am a Marxist--of the Groucho tendency.

Time is that quality of nature which keeps events from happening all at once. Lately it doesn't seem to be working.

Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.